ladycriminelle

I haven't wanted to write in this for awhile. Writing in this means I have to sort out my feelings, and that's really hard, especially now. I'll do my best.Graduation was amazing. I didn't cry. I thought I would. It was uplifting, not sad. I still haven't accepted that I graduated! I was the last person to process in, and I did almost start to cry when I stood at the door ready to go in, and I saw everyone on stage in their caps and gowns. It's an image I've seen so many times, but never with all my friends. Each of us got a piece of the cafeteria wall as a memory. That was cute. Mr. Baker's speech was really good, if you know Mr. Baker. It was sarcastic, caustic, but it was clear that he was proud at the same time. Very much his personality. Kate, our valedictorian's speech was amazing. She quoted Dr. Seus and compared us to the very hungry catipilar. It was touching, and not boring in the slightest. Peter sang the National Anthem. He was amazing, as I expected. I've never seen him that nervous in the 6 years I've known him. He thinks he did horribly, but he was wonderful. We sang Seasons of Love. I was so happy, because of all he emotional value that the song has for me. We did pretty well. Much better than in rehearsal the previous day. I expected to get more emotional about moving the tassel, but throwing our caps was the emotional highlight for me. I was so happy!After graduation there were tons of pictures and hugs, then dinner with the Terela's at Indochine, which was really fun. Peter and I arrived at grad party around midnight. The senior class rented out a club, and we had a blast. It was tons of fun. I got more drunk than I ever have. Beks got me home by 3:30ish, and I went to bed.The next morning I was up at 6:30 to go to school for yearbook signing and everything. I'm glad I did that. It was great to see everyone, and to say goodbye to a lot of people. Towards the end it started to hit me that I was leaving, and I got sad, so Peter and I went to his house and hung out watching movies and sleeping.That night Peter's and Beks' families came over for dinner. It was fun, but I was in a horrible mood for part of the evening. I had a good time, though. It was great to meet Beks' dad, and to watch Beks' mom and Peter's dad interact. I wish I had gotten it on film!Since then I've been hanging out, mostly with Peter. Anne's family and my family had dinner on Sunday night at east coast, after which Anne slept over. We had tons of fun.I had lunch with Ben Sunday, too. We had lots of fun, then we watched West Wing for awhile.I don't know how I feel about things. I'm sad that there are some people that I'm never going to see again. I'm relieved that high school is over. Relieved is really an understatement. There are no words to express how happy I am that I will never have to deal with the academics of high school again. I'm happy that summer's here, and that I can relax. I'm excited to go to Virginia, but I'm panicked about leaving so soon. I thought I wanted to get out of here... that I needed a change of scenery, but now I don't want to leave! I have less than a week! I'm worried about friendships. I'm trying to be realistic about who I'll really keep in touch with, and it's hard! I want to remain friends with everyone, but obviously it's not going to happen. I was more worried about Peter than anyone, because he and I take each other for granted so much, but we talked about it, and he's as worried as I am, meaning we'll both make an effort. I'm not so worried about Anne, because we've been best friends since 6th grade, and the nature of our relationship since high school started is that we go long periods of time without speaking, then pack everything in to a 48 hour sleepover. And we're still as close as always. I'm not worried about Beks that much, because we have so much in common, because we care about each other a lot, and because I'll be flying through Europe so often. I'm so happy it's summer. I'm going to have an awesome summer and worry about college and independence and leaving singapore when it comes time to think about it.

Exams start tomorrow.I can't believe time has gone by so quickly. I expected to be sad. Today was the last day of classes in high school ever. That should be momentous. I'm too busy to think about it. It just passed like another day. Even now, I can't get excited about it. Maybe it will sink it this Friday, after my last exam. Then I'll really be done.I can't wait for the fun to start... all the parties, all the free time, all the not worrying about school work. It will be wonderful. But for now... Studying for my music theory exam.